“If you ever feel like drowning, just remember to focus on something and breathe”. I can’t tell who told me that, or even why, but I keep that in mind.

Deep in the water your thoughts seems clearer. The pressure is gone and only you matter. It feels like you find your purpose in life once again. But when you feel like drowning and your are not near water, life is just ripping you apart.

And you remember to breathe. To focus. To think about you and you only. And you see you are missing life and missing living because you forgot the only important thing in life: you. Everything else seems more important, everyone seems more precious. And you are just you – going with the flow, doing whatever life requests, but never living. Never loving.

Deep in the water there is nothing else, except hope. There is no rush, no stress, no running. You don’t worry about failure, criticism. There is only you and the weight you have put up on your shoulders. So you remember all that you did, all the guilty you have been carrying around, the pain, the low self esteem, bad memories and that you are the only one who can put it all away. The water shows you that there is only one thing to be worried about – you.

So when you feel like drowning, it means you have forgot yourself. To live. To see. To feel.

To love.

Remember you again.

I don’t function when I’m with you. Not because I don’t want to – it is because you feel like home. I don’t need to function when I’m home. I can just be there.

I don’t need to defend my opinions or tell people how body language works. I don’t need to understand politics or any basic math problem.

I’m not eloquent when I’m with you. Not because I don’t want to – I know I can be eloquent and express every little thing that crosses my mind. I just can’t. You have swoon me and now I barely function.

I wish I was as interesting or as smart. But I don’t need to be anything when I’m home. You read books with important content and theories that can change the world. I read about monsters and love.

Inside my head everything makes perfect sense – however, my neurons can’t connect when they speak to you. They are comfortable in silence.

I don’t feel like I have to be eloquent near you – I feel you can read my mind.

I feel at home.

You have come a long way, girl. I know you have. I can count your scars and I know all you have been through. I know.

You have to stop being so hard on yourself. You have to stop pretending you do not care, while you do, and greatly. You have to see yourself as you really are.

I know it is hurting. I know your heart aches. I know it has been shattered and you feel, once again, you won’t be able to put it back together and move on. But you will. You always do.

Talk. Let it all out. Take a deep breath and just let your heart speak. Let all your feelings come to surface so you can be honest. Not only with yourself.

I know it is hurting.

I know you feel like you don’t deserve and I know you see yourself in the mirror and have doubts. I know you feel lost and have no ground to hold you. But there is one – you just can’t see it yet.

I know it is hurting.

I know you feel like you are drowning. I know you are suffocated by your feelings. That is why I tell you, girl: let it all out. Be nice, be gentle. But do not pretend you don’t care. You know you do.

I know it is hurting.

But I promise you – this, too, has an end.

Love. Feels like you are a deity. Are you a deity? Sometimes I feel you are. Sometimes I feel you are not being properly honored. Sometimes I feel you are bored with everyone. If you are, it’s ok. I understand. Aren’t you tired of being called, even when you are not involved?

You are a funny thing, Love.

You make our hearts skip a beat. You make everything we know become unknown. Nothing makes sense. The colors change intensity and the world seems brighter and louder.

Tell me, Love: how does it feel to mess up with people’s hearts? And mind, for that matter.

You make people go crazy. You are the excuse. You fill up silences. Don’t you hate that? You cast aside those who desire you and chase those who doesn’t deserve you.

You make our insides go quiet. You make us find our missing pieces. You make the world make sense again.

You are a funny thing, Love. Funniest thing.

When we first met, we didn’t meet eye to eye – we disliked each other greatly. And we did because we knew we were the same, deep inside. It was so long ago…

Did you think we would get here? That we would have grown so much, specially together?

We had our share of laughter and tears. Bad make up and hangovers. Our share of “I love you’s” and “I hate you’s”.

Did you imagine we would love each other so much? Did you imagine we would be each other’s family?

We fought, we held one another. We had ups and downs and we had everything to make us sure that we were there, forever.

You were always on the right path. I’m still trying to figure everything out. Will you hold my hand and help me find my way? Forever?

We are happy together. I know I’m.

We laugh, we get pissed at each other. We stay in silence. We talk.

You are always optimistic, while I’m balancing both plates. You hold me so strongly when we sleep that I’m afraid you will slip away.

I learned the taste of jealous and remembered how much I appreciate the taste of freedom. I guess this is why we work: we are free together.

I like to make plans. You are more cautious. What are you afraid of? Making plans is fun – even if we don’t get to do all of them.

I share my happiness. You are far more discreet.

I like you and you like me.

I hope we both remember that, wherever we are now. I hope we remember every laugh and every deep breath we took. I hope your heart remembers mine.