I would like to start this letter introducing myself to you. My name is Lucila – and I’m your boyfriend’s girlfriend. Yes, I know it sounds weird, but this is what it is. I’m not sure you two use this word to define the role you play on each other’s life, but this is what it seems to me.

I actually wrote you this letter a couple of months ago but I erased it. I did it because I was afraid he would read it and could react badly. But, thinking it through, who got the worst side of all of this? So, there is no reason to hide it.

Whatever is the relationship you have, I’m sorry to say you are not the only one. You are just the one that lasted the longest. I could give you an endless list of name of girls that had come and gone and come again. For sure, you are around for 10 months, that says a lot. But some are coming and going for over a year.

I don’t remember everything I wrote you on that letter. I was full of sadness, anger, pain and on the verge of losing my mind. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I try my very best to be a good person – a good girlfriend. I’m smart, I’m nice and I’m learning to appreciate all the cool things I actually am (even finding it quite an ego trip).

I was very mad at you in the begining. I was mad at myself. At him. I try to reason why you are so important, so damn important. I try to reason what are the reasons that made you stay for so long and, most importantly, what are the reasons that he fell for you to the point of continuing a distant relationship.

But I do remember one thing I wrote: I’ll cherish every moment I lived with him – even those moments your ghost haunted me. Yours and all the others.

I’m removing myself this week – of all weeks, I’m withdrawing on my birthday week. But I believe he needs to be left alone to deal with you and Car, and Renata and Aline and Alessandra and Gigi and Andrea and so many others. I hope no one has to deal with so many ghosts as I do.