I woke up this morning with this song playing non stop, confusing my thoughts. I haven’t listened to it in years. Yet, still one of my favorites. Yesterday I checked this fairly abandoned blog. Hello to all new visitors. I wonder what you like about this page.

I believe by now you have covered every social media I have a profile. Yeah, I know you have been going through all my stuff – daily and unceasingly. Although I know you do that – and know that you have also checked this page, I haven’t spoken to him about it. I don’t really see a reason to do it.

I would, however, like to tell you that I understand you. And I understand where you come from. I know, very close to heart, this kind of pain, this notion of loss that is not really a loss. This annoyance. This feeling that you hate the fact you don’t hate – you just can’t wrap your mind around it. “Why?”

I can’t give you answers. Well, not on his behalf.

But I believe you should try, for yourself – not for me, him, or the guy you date – to stop wasting all this energy and time. I’m sure it’s exhausting. I know that because for half of the time I’ve been with him, I had searched and looked and stalked most of the girls. You know I’m his girlfriend, but I’m not the only one, right? You know there are two other girls where you live (one very close to you) and several others here. And now you may ask me: why are you with him? What are you doing? Well, my dear, the answer to this is:I don’t know. Love is a very tricky thing. I’m trying, but I too, am exhausted. Far more than you probably ever will be.

I’m not sure if you have ever shared any of my posts here with him. If after reading any of them you had a laugh at my face or had some empathy. I don’t even know how you will even react to this. But, trust me, you are hurting yourself for no good reason. I know it – because I hurt myself everyday. I would say unintentionally, but we know it’s not true.

I understand you. I hope you understand me.

 

Oh, the music is Phantom Other – Department of Eagles.