September was fucking ruthless. There, I said it.

I cannot blame God or the Universe or whatever you believe in, and make it like nothing was my fault. I believe we plant seeds and one day or another we have to harvest. Workwise, yeah, those bubs that are popping out are incredible. So, thank you, past me, for that.

But this letter is not a self-indulgent thank you letter.

September was fucking ruthless and my life became upside down. I guess the Demogorgon got me. And to be fair, September usually is a pretty chill month – I get the anticipation for my birthday (although I obviously lose the drive as the day itself approaches), I get the high for New Year’s getaway, I start planning my Christma’s presents… But this time around all I got was losing the floor. It was by far the most strange, troubled, hurtful and gratifying month of the past five years.

Even with everything happening, even if I still can’t recognize myself in the mirror, I can’t recognize my own home and can’t even make sense of anything, I got spanked with love. Literally, spanked. I was constantly bombarded with love and this love was the reason I’m still here (not in the sense of killing myself. I mean being here, here – this blog, moving on with life and so on).

So, I have some thank you’s to say. Because we find out who are the ones that will stay no matter what. Even if they heard the same goddammed story five times, they will listen once again. And they will repeat the same advise over and over until you are able to listen. No matter what, they will stick around. And I think I should acknowledge them here.

To Ana Luiza, that even being so far away and even if we were not that close when she lived here, she was my rock. My shoulder, my breathing, my strength.

To Nelma. Her caring, patience and words, even when she was trying to dug herself out of her shit, she helped me stand up. And for being responsible for the whole career shift. I won’t ever be able to thank you enough.

To Andrea. For being there when all the tears started flooding. For making me laugh. For taking me out. For being annoyingly repetitive.

To Vandete. Without you, your words and your colours, I would have not dealt with all this – this hurricane that went through everything.

Last, but NEVER least, Clarissa. I’m so grateful for you. Here we are, living the same story and yet, so different. Thank you for every msg, every skype, every coffee and gin tonics.

Thank you, loveys.